LOL. No, I’ve not struck on the Biggest Secret Ever. Finding the secret to taming men is about as likely as men figuring out the secret of how to understand women.
What I’m talking about is the not often found, positively told, female dominating a male fiction story. You see I’ve written one. His Intimate Submission was picked up by Ellora’s Cave a little while back and we’re just about finished with edits.
Male submission is a tough one to find really positive information about. There’s plenty of places to view vids of women punishing men or spanking men, lots of free fiction set up that way too, but often I came away with a gut feeling that the women weren’t really there for the sub, not in the way it’s expected of in the much more common male Dom/female sub fiction that’s so popular. My gut was telling me it was all about the Domme, and when it came to the free fiction quite possibly a hefty amount of anger towards men.
Now don’t get me wrong, BDSM has kinks galore and everyone has a right to their kink – and these works obviously fulfill the fantasies of a group of people (women and men both) – but what about the ‘softer side’, and the more positive side of male submission? That’s what I wanted to know about. The guy in my story wasn’t weak, and definitely didn’t need taking down a peg or two… he feels the need to be the one controlled in the bedroom, and the person he wants doing that controlling is his girlfriend. Not so heavy on the whips and clips and pain.
I found one great resource: Male Submission Art. The creator, MayMay, provides some excellent, insightful commentary on the images -both positive and negative – of male submission (to both sexes) from the male submissive’s point of view. He’s also involved in some interesting ventures aiming to bring positive feeling back to any and all areas of sexuality – I’d quite like to attend one of the Kink for All workshops… although, I’m not sure if writing kink quite meets the criteria.
I’m still working up the gumption to send a review copy to MayMay, I think in fear of having somehow misinterpreted his comments from Male Submission Art (and other places). I really do hope, though, that I’ve caught part of the essence of a softer, positive aspect of BDSM of being female dominated (although, don’t be fooled: fetishes, this story has them ).